There is so much talk in the self-development world about judgement being a bad thing. But the truth is, judgement is one of the things that make makes us miraculous. Judgement is what keeps us safe, enables us to move forward and respond in helpful ways.
The problem is not the judgement; the problem comes when we assume our judgement is ‘fact’ and we act from a place of righteousness. Being able to judge doesn’t make us right, all it means is that we have formed an opinion about a situation, or a person, based on our belief system – this is not the same as being right. Understanding this enables us to get some distance from our judgement and make conscious choices about what we do once we’ve made it.
When we see our opinions as truths, we try and change people, or convince them that what we think is right. On the other hand, when we come from a place of awareness, knowing that our judgement is just an opinion, we can make better choices about how we behave and interact with others.
Remember a time when you have disagreed with someone and made a judgement about them because of it – or think of someone who you are constantly judging for their behaviour. Now, consider the ways in which you have a differing belief system to this person. Recognise that you are both approaching life with a completely unique perspective, that drives each of your thoughts and behaviours, and, if you shared their belief system, you might think or act in the same way as them.
Knowing we have a choice is key. It’s what allows us to be compassionate and curious, to recognise difference, and to understand there are many, many ways to be human.
We take all our delegates on a journey of self-discovery – it’s not always easy to uncover unconcious biases and beliefs, but the impact this can have is huge – both for the individual and the organisation. Hear from people who have experienced the Ivy House learning below.
