Change. It’s messy, emotional, and rarely follows a straight line. Whether it’s a shift in role, a personal loss, or a culture change at work, it can feel like you’re being dragged through every emotion in the book – sometimes all in one day. That’s where the ‘house of change’ comes in: a visual tool we use that helps us assess our change readiness and name where we are in the change journey and find our way through.
What is the house of change?
Think of it as a house with many rooms – each one representing a different stage of the change process. There’s no ‘easy route’ or secret tunnel to skip ahead. Real change? It demands that we step into each room and sit with what we find there.
You might start in the room of denial, where things feel surreal or you’re pretending the change isn’t happening. Then maybe you descend into the pit of paralysis, where everything feels overwhelming and motivation disappears. From there, it’s possible to stumble into confusion and chaos – the room where nothing makes sense and you’re questioning everything. And just when you feel like you’ve made progress in the room of renewal, bam! You’re suddenly back in the basement of despair.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
Why change isn’t linear (and that’s okay)
Change – especially the deep, life-altering kind – doesn’t follow a neat path. One minute you’re coping, the next you’re crumbling. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re human. Our emotions shift constantly, and so does our place in the house.
What really helps is knowing this is all part of the process. The unpredictability is normal. No matter how chaotic or difficult it gets, this too shall pass. Eventually, we all find our way back to the room of contentment – even if it takes time.
The change mindset that moves you forward
Let’s be honest – sitting with discomfort isn’t fun. But it’s necessary. Growth happens in the moments when we stop trying to fast-track our way out of pain and instead get curious about it. So, instead of forcing yourself to “stay positive,” ask:
- What room am I in right now?
- What’s this experience teaching me?
- How can I support myself and others through this?
These coaching questions aren’t about fixing things – they’re about deepening your awareness, which is the first step toward transformation.
Helping others through the house of change
Here’s how leaders can help their team navigate the house:
- Keep the ‘why’ visible. Talk about the reason for the change constantly – in meetings, over coffee, in presentations.
- Acknowledge emotions. You don’t need to agree with how someone feels, but recognising it can shift everything.
- Invite resistance in. People resisting change still care – their energy is valuable. Listen to their concerns; there might be wisdom (or a brilliant idea) hidden in there.
- Get curious. Don’t assume you know why someone’s stuck. Ask, listen, and explore without judgement.
And remember – some people will be harder to reach, especially those who’ve become apathetic. That’s okay. Stay open, and keep planting seeds.
Your resilience is real
Here’s the truth: you’re more resilient than you think. Change may knock you sideways, but at your core, you have what it takes to come through it stronger. The house of change doesn’t just help you survive transformation – it helps you grow from it.
So next time you find yourself wandering the halls of confusion or sinking into despair, remember: you’re in the house. Keep going. You won’t be in that room forever.